Friday, May 19, 2006

2 daes le since wed we nvr tok but he didnt seems to care,continued to do tings he lyk n dun care bout me..startin to feel sad bout it n tryin not to let my imagination run wild..so sad lor..last time at least he wil cor me d bt now 2 daes stil nvr dunno la..scare ltr d endin lyk hidayu not very nice..he always lyk tat d lor dun wan cor me d must wait 4 me 2 cal den cor..in sch saw each other lyk strangers lyk tat when we walk past each other nvr talk not even havin any eye contact between us,dunno wats wrong bout us..tat time stil say his dunno sir or nco nvr quarrel wid his stead den say we oso wil b d next pair lyk tat but now aiya...haiz..heartbroken...all my subj noe d marks le but i only tel my mum 3 subj i gt 3 fail but dunno how 2 tel my mum sure die d...today we noe d promotion test results,my class gt 3 np cadets,fabian n arif made it 2 d sergeant rank n i'm d only 1 left behind as a corporal dunno y i cant b lo i not even in probation lor but she n she is lor..go home told my mum bout it den i cried coz i tot i could b,if i'm not n she n she is not,den its ok..but now is dey cn b under probation but i'm not..wat rubbish is tat..even fabian oso say if dey cn b under probation sergeant y cant i b..idiot la..i so devoted 2 np lor bt now sianz le coz i noe no matter wat i do,i wont b doin anytin coz i wont get d rank n dey wont listen 2 me..now i finally understand y zh n fabian became so inactive in np le n y dey r stil happy when dey r bein punish,its becoz dey had given up hope n i'm not coz i believe tat when we gt sergeant,we wil b more active n united but it was all in my fantasy tis wil nvr happen in our squat,y cant we b lyk d ncc so united n active,when u listen 2 wat dey say bout ncc, u wil noe tat dey r really devoted in it..today when fab took away kenny beries,he was so uptight even though no other ncc cadets or sirs r around,if it was our squat,some ppl wil throw it on d ground or even steppin on it..n when dey fall in or do anytin,u cn c tat deres nobody tokin all laugin,dey r very serious n when dey march,it was neat not lyk ours piece of shit it suxs no matter how hard some ppl tryin 2 make it look better when we march,sure wil haf a few ppl hu tok when we march or even walk lyk dey were at a shoppin mall..so how wil our squat look nice..haiz..i scare tat i wil b lyk fab n zh lyk tat given up hope in our squat,dey really shock me today lo..haiz...sianz la np..
~ nIcE ~
10:04 PM